Knowing the signs


One of the things that stands in the way of dating success is not knowing the signs.

No doubt there are whole books devoted to this. But the important thing is to start to become aware of the signs that a woman is attracted to you (or not). If you don’t spot them then you may try too hard with women who aren’t interested and miss opportunities with women who are.

The first error that many of us men fall into is to start looking for signs when we are already attracted to a woman. The problem with this is that we are prone to see what we wish to see rather than what is really there. This is very well illustrated in Shakespeare’s ‘Twelfth Night,’ when Malvolio is led to believe that Olivia is in love with him. He interprets everything she says and every glance as confirming what he wishes to believe, leading him in the end to a most unpleasant rude awakening. Try not to be in imagination.

Practice understanding signs when nothing much hangs on it.

I have to admit that I became much better at understanding signs after I was happily married, when the use of knowing the signs is to be able tactfully to deflect unwanted attentions!

Eye contact is very powerful. If a woman holds your gaze then be careful not to hold hers unless you want her to think you’re attracted to her. Be careful, because holding someone’s gaze can also be perceived as a threat. Try to tune into what is actually happening. This cannot be taught by formula.

Smiling can be deceiving. A woman might smile at you because she’s attracted to you. Equally she might smile just to be friendly, or even out of nervousness. Smiles can be used for attraction or defence. Again, observation from a neutral place rather than one of desire is useful training. Try to watch the interactions of others and see where they go wrong and what they get right.

Touching: if a woman while talking to you touches your arm, this is far less ambiguous – it probably means she’s attracted to you. If this happens and you are attracted to the woman you are doing well. But you can still easily mess up at this stage. Play it cool. If you’re interested, continue the conversation and maybe arrange a date – but don’t be too eager.

In general, watch body language as if you were a scientist. Any tips you get from books, don’t take as absolute – watch and learn.

The results of my dating advice


Amor stringing his bow, Roman copy after Greek original by Lysippos. Musei Capitolini, Rome.

The reason there has not been an update to this blog in a while is because my methods of attracting women are very successful and this has caused me to become uncommonly busy. My book, Dating, the missing manual, should come with a warning.

Once I understood the secret of becoming a man who could attract the opposite sex, it did not take long for me to find a beautiful and intelligent woman considerably younger than myself. Eventually we married and now have a beautiful daughter.

It’s only fair to warn you that if you attract a young woman and she stays with you she is sooner or later going to want to have babies, and babies are highly time-consuming. Worth it, but you have to put this into your calculations!

Things to know about a woman


Women do not always seem logical to men, which means we often do the wrong thing because the apparently logical answer is not always the right answer. So we need some quick tips to guide us when the situation doesn’t make sense. Here is some excellent advice from blogger Clark Kent. (Note for pedants: I agree the use of apostrophes here is somewhat arbitrary. Click this link for the correct use of apostrophes.)

When she stare’s at your mouth!

[Kiss her!]

When she pushes you or hit’s you!

[Grab her and dont let go!]

When she start’s cursing at you!

[Kiss her and tell her you love her!]

When she’s quiet!

[Ask her whats wrong!]

When she ignore’s you!

[Give her your attention!]

When she pull’s away!

[Pull her back!]

When you see her at her worst!

[Tell her she’s beautiful!]

When you see her start crying!

[Just hold her and dont say a word!]


Click through for the full list. It won’t always work, but most times it will work reasonably well.

Clark Kent follows with a quotation from Eckhart Tolle. It is worth reading. Being in the moment, we are much more likely to be able to understand correctly what is happening, or at the very least, understand that we don’t understand.

I would add one more piece of advice. If you don’t know what to say, or what you want to say you have doubts about, say nothing.

Be silent, or let your words be worth more than silence – attributed to Pythagoras. (If anyone knows the source of this quotation, please let me know. I don’t record it from Diogenes Laertius Lives of the Philosophers, and Pythagoras himself wrote nothing that survives.)

Thanks to the ladies at Once a Month

Once a month 4 ladies

Once a month 4 ladies

Yay! Praise for my comments on the blog Once a month 4 ladies!

Fellow blokes, it’s always useful to hear women’s opinions on dating and sex. We may think we know, but do we? That’s why, if you’re looking to find and keep the one, or to give her maximum pleasure, or to find out whether a woman can successfully fake an orgasm, or even to know whether women really care about the size of a man’s penis, it’s really useful to check out women’s blogs on the subject.

Here’s a good place to start:

You can of course contribute a male point of view, too.

This is the very definition and beauty of true art

This is the very definition and beauty of true art. (Re-blogged from One Thousand Single Days.)

These people had a real connection. This is what you are looking for when you are searching for a soulmate. Forever, or for a moment.


The sex life of sea slugs

sea slug

Did you know that some sea slugs lose their penis when mating but it grows back again? Apparently this has been observed in the sea slug Chromodoris reticulata.

This interesting article led me to making a comparative table of human and sea-slug sexual activity for your edification. Who knows, you could be in a pub quiz one day and it might come up (a question about sea slug sexual behaviour might come up, what did you think I meant?).


So, luckily human sex is more fun that sea slug sex, even though we can’t change sex at will. We can also last longer than sea slugs if we have the right method.