My guess is most or all of us want a life partner who will be not only a sexual partner but also friend and soulmate.
It is vital to be able to attract women, so that you have as big a field as possible to choose from. Of course a woman must choose you, too. My point is, (1) she needs to know you exist, and (2) when you do meet her you need to be able to create attraction.
Dating is a numbers game. Unless you are incredibly lucky, you will need to meet a lot of women before you find the right one. You need to master the art of attraction so that you don’t waste too much time dreaming and too much effort trying to get any sort of date at all. Also, don’t settle for someone you’re not really suited to with the idea that that’s the best you’re going to manage for yourself – this will do neither you nor her any favours.
There are many tips and tricks to successful attraction and I hope to blog about these from time to time, but today I’m just going to mention what I believe to be the most crucial, without which nothing else will work and with which everything else almost takes care of itself.
If you believe you are going to fail, you will. If you believe you are not attractive to women, you won’t be. The converse of these is also true. If you believe you are going to succeed, you are likely to succeed. Not every time, but enough times. If you believe you are attractive to women, you will be, not every time, but enough times.
So the first lesson in attraction is, believe in yourself.
In my next post I’ll start to address the tricky question of how to get there, because if you’ve had a few rebuffs you may have acquired a fixed idea that you don’t have what it takes. Then what happens is that you expect a rebuff, your whole body language says ‘failure’ (which is not attractive) and you get rebuffed. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Given the right attitude and a little work, however, a lot can be done to increase your chances.
More in my next post.