Rush-hour crush – 3

Kudos to this one (from the Metro, Wednesday August 15):

To the attractive woman in the parka who got on the Northern Line on Monday, June 11. We broke the Tube rules and spoke to each other. We got off at London Bridge and went our separate ways after exchanging names. You have been in my thoughts ever since. – Guy in the black cashmere coat.

They exchanged names? But not phone numbers?

Kudos, because he actually spoke to her. Brilliant! How hard can it be? Just make some remark about something and see if a conversation develops or not.

Then say, hey, meet for coffee some time? Or just ask for her number?

Asking for a Facebook name is one option, and a non-threatening one because if she is just being polite she doesn’t have to respond to your ‘friend’ request later – or she can give you a false name. Then when you can’t find her on Facebook you can stop thinking about her and move on (the guy in the black cashmere coat is still thinking about her two months on, note). I can’t help thinking that asking for a Facebook name is a bit lame, though.

Asking for email is also likely to be perceived as less intrusive than asking for a phone number. Ask her to write it down for you (top tip: always carry a pen and a diary or small pad of paper). Some say that once she’s writing down her email you ask her to write her phone number underneath, since by now the ice is broken. Consider, however, not being too pushy, as that will not work in your favour.

What I have done (and this did work) is give a woman my number (written down). She rang me two days later.

These are a few ideas to work with. Which you do depends a lot on the situation. If you’re clearly getting on well I’d just ask for the phone number or else give her yours.

To the guy in the black cashmere coat: unless you see her again, you’ve blown it this time. But you have learned the most important first step. My advice: talk to other pretty women on the tube, and follow through by getting some phone numbers. If the woman in the parka turns up in your life again, excellent. If not, then don’t waste your time hoping. It’s in the lap of the gods.

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