Chance and Venus help the daring

Antique face

Chance is always powerful. Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish. – Ovid, Ars Amatoria III:ix

Chance and Venus help the daring. – Ovid, Ars Amatoria I:xv

So, two points here from our Ancient Roman dating guru.

First of all keep up your attraction skills wherever you happen to be. Be pleasant to everyone, not just to beautiful women, because it’s pleasant, because you need to keep practicing light-hearted chat, and because women can smell a false-hearted creep a mile away.

Practicing light-hearted chat with everyone, not just beautiful women, enables you to practice your skills in situations in which your fear of failure is not evoked. You will begin to experience success and get smiles. Those skills are transferable, so that next time you really do want to start a conversation with a woman you fancy, you’ll be able to do it without becoming tongue-tied.

Which brings us to the second point Ovid is making – chance and Venus help the daring. There are few things so attractive for a woman in a man as confidence. Not brashness but quiet confidence. And one way to develop this is to keep practicing light and pleasant repartee with everyone you meet!

Advertisements

What makes you think you need to go to Russia?

“You who seek out the object of a lasting love, learn the places which the fair ones most haunt,” writes the poet Ovid in his 2,000-year-old poem, The Art of Love.

I have given a few tips about where to find your soulmate before.

If spam emails are anything to go by, there must be a fair number of men out there who fall for Russian woman who are very romantic and are looking for an honest man in the West for love and marriage. Now there is of course nothing at all wrong with Russian women. But if you can’t attract a woman in your own home town, why do you imagine you’ll have more luck with a woman from hundreds or thousands of miles away?

If the relationship is based on money (which it may be) then is that what you really want? Wouldn’t you rather learn the arts of attraction and find a woman much nearer home and who wants you because of what you really are? (Ok, you really like Russian women. There are probably thousands in London. You still don’t need to find the air fare.)

Ovid says, “You won’t have to put to sea or undertake any distant journeys … Rome alone will give you a choice of such lovely women, and so many of them, that you will be forced to confess that she gathers within her own bosom all the treasures that the world can show. As numerous as the ears of corn on Gargarus, grapes in Methymna, fish in the ocean, birds in the thickets, stars in the heavens, so numerous are the beautiful girls you’ll find in Rome. Venus has made her seat of empire the city of her beloved Aeneas.”

And for the benefit of us in England, note that our own Henry Purcell made a song called ‘Fairest Isle’ from John Dryden’s words, in which the poet explains that Venus has made her dwelling here, too.

Here are the words:
Fairest isle, all isles excelling,
Seat of pleasure and of love
Venus here will choose her dwelling,
And forsake her Cyprian grove.
Cupid from his fav’rite nation
Care and envy will remove;
Jealousy, that poisons passion,
And despair, that dies for love.

Gentle murmurs, sweet complaining,
Sighs that blow the fire of love
Soft repulses, kind disdaining,
Shall be all the pains you prove.
Ev’ry swain shall pay his duty,
Grateful ev’ry nymph shall prove;
And as these excel in beauty,
Those shall be renown’d for love.

Love from abroad?

Some men imagine they’ll find true love abroad. If you do any internet dating you will get the occasional message from some attractive woman in some remote part of the world. I’m not saying it can never work out, but with the right techniques you can attract women right here on your own doorstep. And if you can’t attract a woman in your own home town, how are you going to work the magic on this exotic woman, once you meet up?

Incidentally (off topic, but hey…) the same applies to overseas property investment. If you can’t make money in property investment within easy travelling distance from where you live (where you can keep an eye on things and make sure you’re not being ripped off) how do you imagine you will make money investing in a resort a few thousand miles away?

Anyway, here’s a short extract from my book, Dating – the missing manual:

Don’t be taken in

Remember that on the web no-one can see who you really are. Since you are on a genuine quest, you have no reason not to be honest. But there are some strange people out there.

Hot babes from other countries who allege that they just want to find an honest man to settle down with may be genuine, but then what’s wrong with the men in their own countries?

Could they be after a bogus marriage and a residence visa? Could they be after the thousand pounds or more that they need for a visa application and air fare so that they can some and see you? And oops! There was a last minute problem with the authorities so I cannot come my darling. (Needless to say the air fare was non-refundable.)

And could it be that the lovely Maya doesn’t exist, but some middle-aged man has found a nice photograph on the internet and is pretending to be Maya with her tempting body and pretty face, in order to extract money from you?

You are searching for something very important to you, and in this condition you are very vulnerable to believing whatever you are told.

Don’t be daft. Your chances with women in your own country are at least as good as they are with someone from elsewhere. If you follow the advice in this book you can have a lot of fun verifying this and at the same time minimise your risk of being taken for a ride.

This is simply because you will learn that you are a man with choices. If something isn’t quite right, you don’t have to settle for it, because you are not desperate.