Thanks to the ladies at Once a Month

Once a month 4 ladies

Once a month 4 ladies

Yay! Praise for my comments on the blog Once a month 4 ladies!

Fellow blokes, it’s always useful to hear women’s opinions on dating and sex. We may think we know, but do we? That’s why, if you’re looking to find and keep the one, or to give her maximum pleasure, or to find out whether a woman can successfully fake an orgasm, or even to know whether women really care about the size of a man’s penis, it’s really useful to check out women’s blogs on the subject.

Here’s a good place to start: http://onceamonth4ladies.com/category/ask-xy/

You can of course contribute a male point of view, too.

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The sex life of sea slugs

sea slug

Did you know that some sea slugs lose their penis when mating but it grows back again? Apparently this has been observed in the sea slug Chromodoris reticulata.

This interesting article led me to making a comparative table of human and sea-slug sexual activity for your edification. Who knows, you could be in a pub quiz one day and it might come up (a question about sea slug sexual behaviour might come up, what did you think I meant?).

sea_slug_sex

So, luckily human sex is more fun that sea slug sex, even though we can’t change sex at will. We can also last longer than sea slugs if we have the right method.

Quest for the female orgasm

cabanel_the_birth_of_venus_1863In The Quest for the Big ‘O’ a mystery blogger on OnceAMonth4Ladies writes:

I started to realize at about the age of 18 that most of my female friends had had an orgasm … and I had not.

Men, get a copy of my book. Pay particular attention to getting her in the mood and foreplay. Aim to pleasure her and delay your own pleasure. It can be done.

If you have not known sex, how can you drop it?

Clodion nude girlMaybe there are some who can find spiritual enlightenment in a monastery. But most of us live in a world which makes continual demands on us and in which our desires pop up wherever we look. How best to work with them?

Remember Tales from the Riverbank on TV a long time ago? I don’t mean the one with Ratty and Hammy the Hamster. I mean the Chinese stories. The stories were always interrupted at various points by Chinese proverbs, like, ‘Do not despise the snake for having no horns, for one day he will become a dragon! Even so, one just man can become an army!’ Great stuff.

(Through a combination of past life memory retrieval and Google I now realise it was called The Water Margin. Apparently it was based on a classic Chinese novel.)

Anyway, in one episode the Chinese proverb was, ‘It is said that Heaven is the absence of all desires. Even so, here was one man prepared to risk all to see his sweetheart!’

Wonderful!

You see the problem here? How can you deserve a sweetheart if you are not prepared to risk all to see her? But how can you risk anything if you have no desires?

Don’t try to resolve the paradox too quickly. I believe it is true that Heaven is the absence of all desires. At the same time, I believe it is necessary to follow one’s desires where they lead (tempered by common sense, inner discipline and consideration for others, of course). If you resolve the paradox too quickly you will miss the point.

Anyway, of this, enough. Here is the link I wanted to share with you. It is Osho’s view. You don’t have to like (or dislike) Osho to consider what he has to say.

http://o-meditation.com/2012/07/09/go-beyond-through-experiencing-osho/

Can you last longer than a boiled egg?

images

There is a joke that goes like this.

The wife is in the kitchen early in the morning and her husband comes in. ‘Quick,’ she says, ‘take me right now.’ The husband is a bit surprised, but not wishing to let such an opportunity go by he obliges her on the kitchen table. He gives her a good seeing-to and when he’s finished he asks her, ‘Why the sudden urgency?’ She says, ‘Well I’m doing boiled eggs and the egg-timer is broken.’

The subtext of course is that he has come but she hasn’t. He’s too quick.

The joke is remarkably accurate, because studies show that the average male lasts about 5 minutes. There is a way for men to last much longer, if we want to.

I started this blog because of a surprising discovery.

Well, to be honest the surprising discovery was why I wrote my first book, Last as long as you want in bed, subtitled It’s not about you. And the purpose of the blog is to encourage you to buy the (remarkably inexpensive) book. But of that, enough for now.

The surprising discovery is so simple that when I state it you might well think, well I knew that already. It’s obvious. But if that is so, why do so many of us have problems with sex and in particular why do so many men come before they have satisfied their woman? Studies show that a third of all men have suffered some sexual dysfunction, with premature ejaculation being common (scientific references are in the book).

So what was the surprising and obvious discovery? It’s that real sex, the best sex, is about being there for the other person, and for a man, that means responding to what she wants and what turns her on. It requires an act of will, because you have to resist your desire to get right on with what your body is urging you to do. Most of all you have to be present – to her and to your own body – but at the same time not be a slave to your own body.

It’s not about you, it’s about her.

Strange, that being present is where we are usually not, and this leads to all kinds of disasters, not least in the bedroom (or the kitchen table, for that matter).

Yet by being present we can truly enjoy, in a much deeper way, what is actually happening, right now.

Penis size

Some comments from women about penis size. Read the comments on the comments too:

onceamonth4ladies.com/2012/12/13/lady-confessions-the-size-of-the-boat/

The reason penis size is not critical and hints on the right way to use it with a woman’s sensitive areas are all explained in my book.

Love and sex – 2

True love versus the quick fling:

The waking share one world in common, but each sleeper turns away to a world of his own. – Heraclitus (6th century BC)

Do we separate mind, heart and body when we have sex?

The best sex is when mind, heart and body are all involved together. Without the involvement of the heart, sex is merely mechanical pleasure.

A ‘sleeper’ in Heraclitus’s meaning is not necessarily one who is physically asleep, but one who is asleep to the reality of now, not here in body and mind, away with the fairies, in imagination of things not present.

Being truly present to your beloved is to enjoy a union far more pleasurable than the mere friction of body parts. At the same time, being present is the only way fully to enjoy the physical pleasures of sex.