A simple way of delaying ejaculation

There are few things more stimulating for a man than bringing his woman to ecstasy, and there are few things more disappointing than coming before she is satisfied.

We men easily come too quickly. There are a number of reasons for this, which I deal with in detail in my book Last as long as you want in bed.

One most important thing to understand is that men get turned on quickly but women take longer to be ready – you have to create the mood. Today, though, I’m going to assume you’ve done that and things are going well, but you’re at risk of coming before she does.

Here’s one of the tips from 10 hot tips for lasting longer in bed – my 99¢ ebook (UK link here):

A really excellent way of stimulating her without coming too soon

With you on top, rub the underside of the shaft of your penis against her clitoral area (see figure). You don’t have to worry about exact positioning because her vulva will more or less guide you into the correct area.

You can then thrust against her without being inside her. The stimulation you are getting is on the relatively less sensitive shaft of the penis, but the stimulation she is getting is fairly maximal.

I would add that if even that starts to get too much for you then continue clitoral stimulation with your fingers.


The ecstasy

Sex gets separated from the rest of our lives. Its energy threatens us, so we separate it off, compartmentalise it, try to make it safe, Binding with briars my joys and desires as William Blake put it in The Garden of love.

This is a problem for us whether or not we are in a sexual relationship.

It is a problem for us if we try to cut our imaginary identity off from our sexuality.

This thing of darkness I acknowledge mine, as Shakespeare put it in The Tempest.

In John Donne’s poem The ecstasy are the lines,

Love’s mysteries in souls do grow, 
But yet the body is his book.