The results of my dating advice

Cupid

Amor stringing his bow, Roman copy after Greek original by Lysippos. Musei Capitolini, Rome.

The reason there has not been an update to this blog in a while is because my methods of attracting women are very successful and this has caused me to become uncommonly busy. My book, Dating, the missing manual, should come with a warning.

Once I understood the secret of becoming a man who could attract the opposite sex, it did not take long for me to find a beautiful and intelligent woman considerably younger than myself. Eventually we married and now have a beautiful daughter.

It’s only fair to warn you that if you attract a young woman and she stays with you she is sooner or later going to want to have babies, and babies are highly time-consuming. Worth it, but you have to put this into your calculations!

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Is it me that I don’t get dates?

First of all, be quite sure that there isn’t a woman who cannot be won, and make up your mind that you will win her.

Thus says Ovid, our Ancient Roman dating guru.

Sooner would the birds cease their song in the springtime, or the grasshopper be silent in the summer, or the hare turn and give chase to a hound of Maenalus, than a woman resist the wooing of a youthful lover.

Maybe so, although it is my experience that if you master the secrets of attraction you don’t need to be youthful either.

Once upon a time I was love-lorn and kept falling in love without the slightest idea of how to attract and keep a woman. I would meet beautiful women or see them at a distance and have no clue how to approach them. I believed from a very young age that I was not attractive to women – and that turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Then, through advice from friends and reading all kinds of hints, tips and strategies and actually trying them out, I began to have success, leading in the end to finding and keeping the love of my life. I started this blog and wrote Dating – the missing manual because I see too many of my male friends fail in this area – men who have good qualities any sensible woman would admire. I now know what these men are doing wrong and how they could fix it.

Think it’s because you’re too old? Wrong. Because you’re not handsome? Wrong. Because you’re not rich? Wrong again. The young, rich and handsome can and do get these things wrong. Behaviour is key. Be yourself and at the same time learn to be confident in who you are. Then learn the arts of attraction.

Ovid says:

Perhaps you think she doesn’t want to yield. You’re wrong.

Well, there will be quite a number who aren’t interested for perfectly good reasons. But if so, move on – it’s nothing to do with you and there is no shortage of attractive women out there.

Stop getting rejected on-line

Eight tips about how to stop getting rejected on-line from female blogger YoureJustADumbAss.

It’s good advice. But if you’re dating on-line you need to know how to get women to respond to your profile in the first place.

Here are some ideas to get you started. What makes you click on a profile? You are skimming tens or even hundreds of profiles. Many don’t get a second glance from you. Why not? Because of a dodgy picture, and then because of a boring profile. What if the profile is fun and a little flirtatious? Aren’t you more likely to want to respond?

Ok, there’s no point in pretending you are something you are not, because you’ll get rejected later on. But I have noticed that different pictures of the same woman can make her appear very appealing or very off-putting. A flash photograph taken in a mirror is not going to do it, because flash flattens your features and makes you look pale and ill, even if you don’t also have red-eye. A picture taken on a phone at arm’s length is unlikely to do you justice either. Lighting is important, to show off your rugged handsomeness to maximum advantage. Pose is important too – this is not a mug shot for a police lineup. Make eye-contact with the camera. More in my book, Dating – the missing manual.

Next, pay attention to what you write. The aim of your profile is not to tell women everything about you. The aim is to create attraction, to make her want to know more. Tell enough to attract the kind of woman you want to attract, but most of all make it light, make it amusing. Most of all, never appear desperate.

For more tips that from personal experience I know work, treat yourself to my remarkably inexpensive book.

Happy Christmas!

dating cover imageThere will be a short break until the New Year!

Suggested New Year’s resolution for all you single love-lorn men out there, looking for your soul-mate and yearning for the love and passion that could be yours: treat yourself to my book, Dating – the missing manual, and start applying the advice little by little to your life.

It comes from personal experience. It works.

Love from abroad?

Some men imagine they’ll find true love abroad. If you do any internet dating you will get the occasional message from some attractive woman in some remote part of the world. I’m not saying it can never work out, but with the right techniques you can attract women right here on your own doorstep. And if you can’t attract a woman in your own home town, how are you going to work the magic on this exotic woman, once you meet up?

Incidentally (off topic, but hey…) the same applies to overseas property investment. If you can’t make money in property investment within easy travelling distance from where you live (where you can keep an eye on things and make sure you’re not being ripped off) how do you imagine you will make money investing in a resort a few thousand miles away?

Anyway, here’s a short extract from my book, Dating – the missing manual:

Don’t be taken in

Remember that on the web no-one can see who you really are. Since you are on a genuine quest, you have no reason not to be honest. But there are some strange people out there.

Hot babes from other countries who allege that they just want to find an honest man to settle down with may be genuine, but then what’s wrong with the men in their own countries?

Could they be after a bogus marriage and a residence visa? Could they be after the thousand pounds or more that they need for a visa application and air fare so that they can some and see you? And oops! There was a last minute problem with the authorities so I cannot come my darling. (Needless to say the air fare was non-refundable.)

And could it be that the lovely Maya doesn’t exist, but some middle-aged man has found a nice photograph on the internet and is pretending to be Maya with her tempting body and pretty face, in order to extract money from you?

You are searching for something very important to you, and in this condition you are very vulnerable to believing whatever you are told.

Don’t be daft. Your chances with women in your own country are at least as good as they are with someone from elsewhere. If you follow the advice in this book you can have a lot of fun verifying this and at the same time minimise your risk of being taken for a ride.

This is simply because you will learn that you are a man with choices. If something isn’t quite right, you don’t have to settle for it, because you are not desperate.

Don’t buy my book!

dating cover imageI’m very excited now because my book “Dating – the missing manual – you can attract and keep the woman of your dreams (if they had taught this in school alongside algebra and French irregular verbs, my whole life would have been different)” now has the Look Inside feature working!

Link to Amazon.com for Dating – the missing manual

Link to Amazon.co.uk for Dating – the missing manual

I am also excited because I have the first review of my dating book on Amazon.com.

I’m going to come completely clean here. The reviewer is a friend. But before you discount his opinion, I have a few things to say.

You all know that many writers get their friends to write 5-star reviews of their books. Probably some authors even review their own books under false names. That’s why many people, myself included, often prefer to read the 3-star reviews to get the real low-down. I know this and you know this, and that’s why I want all the reviews of my books to be genuine. (You will note that so far I have not got any reviews for my other book, despite my giving away free copies no strings attached – the offer still stands, by the way.) So what’s all this about my friend reviewing my book?

First of all, I gave him a draft copy to read and comment on, before publication. I did this because at that time he was in the same situation I had been in, looking for a soulmate in vain and doubting his own ability to attract women. So I thought he would be an ideal person to test my book on. Why not pass on to a friend what had worked so well for me?

Some months passed, and as yet he hasn’t told me the full story of what happened. But suffice it to say, a short while ago I saw him with a very attractive woman, and the other day I saw them still together and she could hardly keep her hands off him. He also had a very big smile.

So I asked him, no pressure, but if you would please post an honest review of my book on Amazon.com I should be grateful. I emailed him, ‘If you are happy to do this it should be an honest review. Some new authors get their chums to write 5-star reviews but I suspect that if all the early reviews are 5-star people don’t believe them.’

Well, he gave the book 5 stars anyway.

So, why am I telling you not to buy my book? Because I am working on the Kindle edition and I am going to publish the Kindle edition free for a limited period, as Amazon allows. This is because I want the book to get known and I’m hoping for as many honest reviews as possible. So I don’t want any loyal followers of this blog to buy the paperback and then feel cross because they spent £5.50 (US$9.50) when they didn’t have to.

If you want to know about it as soon as the free promotion starts, all you have to do is follow this blog. The ‘follow’ button is at the top right of the page (or just below the posts if you are reading this on a mobile).

But if you can’t wait, £5.50 (US$9.50) is hardly going to blow a huge hole in your finances, is it?

How to construct a dating profile

How long do you have to wait to find THE ONE, your soulmate? A lot depends on meeting a lot of women (or men if you’re a woman, or women if you’re a lesbian, or … work it out for yourself), because it’s partly a numbers game, and if you’re doing it on-line, it depends on having a dating profile that produces results.

Here is a blog post from someone frustrated by the whole dating business:

There are some harsh realities that come with putting yourself out there into the dating scene (do we call it that? Is it The Game? No, that’s a rapper..).

You have to be patient, I’m told, which is funny because I’ve been patient for quite some time. Long enough that I should win the Most Patient Award… [read more]

She goes on to write about online dating:

So maybe the first couple nights I was a little slutty with the winking (it’s a feature where you basically send people a “wink” whose profile you liked). Aaaaaand nothing has come of it.

Oh, there was that one “No thanks” from someone, so that was cool…

It also tells you how many people have looked at your profile. Now, I’m not good at math, but I can tell you that my ratio thus far of views to responses is a bit on the unfortunate side. …

And all she really wants (after discussing this issue for a while) is:

…maybe just somebody to hold hands with at the movies.

Such a simple thing to want, and yet so full of depth. Yes, that really is important because it implies so much.

There is a lot of advice in my book about how to set up a dating profile that works. Let me tell you a story from the section How to construct a profile in my book Dating – the missing manual :

Learn from my mistakes.

I constructed a beautiful profile on one of the better sites. The profile was very serious and said what I was interested in and so on about myself.

There was nothing particularly wrong with it.

I even had a photographer friend take a number of photos of me and picked the one that made me look good.

The profile wasn’t a total dud. I did get two or three dates out of it, but I didn’t find a keeper that way.

When I did find my true love, as it happens by an entirely different method, I changed my profile to something like this:

“Two space vixens have been fighting over me with phasers set to stun, and the victorious one has now abducted me in her spaceship, so I am no longer available. Sorry to disappoint.”

This was my way of signing off, but to my surprise I then got a little windfall of interested replies within a very short space of time. Not logical, you might think. But there is a lesson in this.

My analysis: the serious profile says ‘boring.’ ‘This person takes himself too seriously.’

Note well: your dating site profile is not about information. It is about attraction. A fun profile makes the woman think, ‘this guy is a hoot; it would be fun to meet him.’

There are other lessons to be learned from this, which I go on to discuss in the book.

Dating is a numbers game. You are going to have to contact a lot of women (or men …etc.) to find THE ONE. The first step in making contact through a dating site is to have a profile that works for you.

You don’t need to tell everything about yourself. You do need to create attraction. Raising a smile is a very good start.