Amor stringing his bow, Roman copy after Greek original by Lysippos. Musei Capitolini, Rome.
The reason there has not been an update to this blog in a while is because my methods of attracting women are very successful and this has caused me to become uncommonly busy. My book, Dating, the missing manual, should come with a warning.
Once I understood the secret of becoming a man who could attract the opposite sex, it did not take long for me to find a beautiful and intelligent woman considerably younger than myself. Eventually we married and now have a beautiful daughter.
It’s only fair to warn you that if you attract a young woman and she stays with you she is sooner or later going to want to have babies, and babies are highly time-consuming. Worth it, but you have to put this into your calculations!
Women do not always seem logical to men, which means we often do the wrong thing because the apparently logical answer is not always the right answer. So we need some quick tips to guide us when the situation doesn’t make sense. Here is some excellent advice from blogger Clark Kent. (Note for pedants: I agree the use of apostrophes here is somewhat arbitrary. Click this link for the correct use of apostrophes.)
Click through for the full list. It won’t always work, but most times it will work reasonably well.
Clark Kent follows with a quotation from Eckhart Tolle. It is worth reading. Being in the moment, we are much more likely to be able to understand correctly what is happening, or at the very least, understand that we don’t understand.
I would add one more piece of advice. If you don’t know what to say, or what you want to say you have doubts about, say nothing.
Be silent, or let your words be worth more than silence – attributed to Pythagoras. (If anyone knows the source of this quotation, please let me know. I don’t record it from Diogenes Laertius Lives of the Philosophers, and Pythagoras himself wrote nothing that survives.)
“You, who for the first time are taking up arms beneath the standard of Venus, find out, in the first place, the woman you are to love.”
Ovid, in his two-thousand-year-old dating guide ‘The Art of Love,’ lays out his plan in three stages: (1) find your woman, (2) “bend her to your will,” (3) do what you need to do to make your love endure.
We shall talk about all these stages in due course, but in passing I’d like to say that we often neglect the third. Once you’ve made a conquest, don’t slack off. You need to keep the flame alive. Don’t start being a typical bloke and fart and belch in her company (sorry, but it needed to be said). Don’t neglect oral hygiene if you still want deep kisses and more. Don’t stop the behaviours that she found attractive and exciting in the beginning. Especially when married, tend the fire.
Back to the matter in hand.
Ovid goes on, “Now that you are still fancy-free, now is the time for you to choose a woman and say to her: ‘You are the only woman that I care for.’ She’s not going to be wafted down to you from heaven on the wings of the wind. You must use your own eyes to discover the girl that suits you.”
I definitely don’t agree that you should go up to a woman and straightaway say, ‘You are the only woman that I care for.’ She’ll run a mile unless already desperately in love with you, and that you cannot count on. You have to work on attraction – a process explained in my own book. One important principle of attraction is, let her come to you. Paradoxical. For now let’s just say, never appear desperate. But Ovid is right that your soulmate is not going simply to turn up and ring your doorbell.
Ovid goes on, “The hunter knows where to spread his nets… .” This should be part of your strategy. You need to think about where the woman of your dreams is likely to hang out. If you’re a wild party animal, don’t look for her in the library. And if you hate parties and prefer intelligent conversation, don’t torment yourself by going somewhere where the music is so loud you end up deaf. Your soulmate won’t be there anyway. However you do have to go out looking. And wherever you go, you need to keep practicing the arts of attraction until your babe magnetism is fully charged and under your control.
What is a soulmate? Before we go any further with Latin writer Ovid’s two-thousand-year-old seduction guide, we should pause to reflect, because if what the old Roman rogue advises works, me may end up with more (or less) than we … Continue reading →
Strategy. Finding your soulmate can be difficult. Finding someone for a quick fling is easier if you know how – the rules of attraction are the same. But how to find the one?
You can be great at chat-up and attraction (of which I have much more to say some other time) and still this part can be very difficult. You can go on date after date and nothing works out for the long term. You can even have dates that pall after the first ten minutes.
Why not start working on strategy now?
Let’s cut to the chase. Yards of verbiage are not needed to explain this. Go to places where the kind of woman who might be your soulmate would hang out. Sure, if you just want a quick fling, go to a bar or club (comedy clubs are fun too), and apply the techniques. But if you are (for example) into art, go to a gallery or join an art evening class (if there are no hot women there, join another one – join several – simple).
If you don’t like noisy nightclubs, why would you expect that your soulmate would? It’s possible, but you are lengthening the odds unnecessarily. Go to the places she might go to.
Your criteria for a soulmate are, or should be, pretty strict. Don’t compromise. Learning confidence will give you plenty of choice, so you don’t need to compromise. It then becomes a numbers game. Don’t waste time looking in the wrong places.