Pivot – useful dating tip

Here is another useful dating tip. Understand and learn.

You may have heard the term ‘wingman.’ This is a male friend who helps you in approaching potential dates. Apparently there is a new piece of jargon attaching to a female friend who helps you out in a similar way.

The term ‘pivot’ is explained in this women’s blog.

This is essentially very simple. I shall explain with a story.

In the days before I met the woman of my dreams, that is to say, when I was actively searching for her, I made friends with two very attractive young women (that’s another story). The three of us were out at a comedy club night and we were chatting at the bar in the interval. Another young woman (one of the comediennes in the show) saw me from a distance chatting to these two women and later reported to a fellow comedian (whom I happened to know) that she thought I was very sexy.

This came as a bit of a surprise to me, because I was a lot older than any of these women (a fair bit older than the usual age of people who attend comedy clubs, in fact) and didn’t think of myself as having anything like film star qualities (despite my George Clooney haircut, but that’s also a story for another time).

So, my assumption is that women are attracted to men whom other women find attractive. Or whom they think other women find attractive. By associating with attractive women you acquire extra value in other women’s eyes: ‘If they like him there must be something to him.’ Or, ‘hey, I want some of that, too.’ You see where I’m going with this?

It does you no harm to be seen talking to attractive women.

Consider the possible strategies here. You might go straight up to a woman you find attractive and start talking to her. There is nothing at all wrong with that, and you get instant points for confidence, if you can do it. Alternatively, you might start talking to her friends instead. You can make light conversation, and some of the fear is taken out of it  for you because it is not these exact women you are trying to impress.

If the stars are working in your favour then the woman you really fancy will become more attracted to you because you have now acquired a perceived value with her friends. If she’s interested she may start chasing you. At any rate she may start talking to you. Play it cool and let her work for your attention, but be nice. (More on not being too eager another time.)

Am I talking through my hat here? I don’t think so, because I have verified this in other situations, including when I met the love of my life. But that story is also for another time.