A simple way of delaying ejaculation

There are few things more stimulating for a man than bringing his woman to ecstasy, and there are few things more disappointing than coming before she is satisfied.

We men easily come too quickly. There are a number of reasons for this, which I deal with in detail in my book Last as long as you want in bed.

One most important thing to understand is that men get turned on quickly but women take longer to be ready – you have to create the mood. Today, though, I’m going to assume you’ve done that and things are going well, but you’re at risk of coming before she does.

Here’s one of the tips from 10 hot tips for lasting longer in bed – my 99¢ ebook (UK link here):

A really excellent way of stimulating her without coming too soon

With you on top, rub the underside of the shaft of your penis against her clitoral area (see figure). You don’t have to worry about exact positioning because her vulva will more or less guide you into the correct area.

You can then thrust against her without being inside her. The stimulation you are getting is on the relatively less sensitive shaft of the penis, but the stimulation she is getting is fairly maximal.

I would add that if even that starts to get too much for you then continue clitoral stimulation with your fingers.

Don’t buy my book!

I’m very excited now because my book “Dating – the missing manual – you can attract and keep the woman of your dreams (if they had taught this in school alongside algebra and French irregular verbs, my whole life would have been different)” now has the Look Inside feature working!

Link to Amazon.com for Dating – the missing manual

Link to Amazon.co.uk for Dating – the missing manual

I am also excited because I have the first review of my dating book on Amazon.com.

I’m going to come completely clean here. The reviewer is a friend. But before you discount his opinion, I have a few things to say.

You all know that many writers get their friends to write 5-star reviews of their books. Probably some authors even review their own books under false names. That’s why many people, myself included, often prefer to read the 3-star reviews to get the real low-down. I know this and you know this, and that’s why I want all the reviews of my books to be genuine. (You will note that so far I have not got any reviews for my other book, despite my giving away free copies no strings attached – the offer still stands, by the way.) So what’s all this about my friend reviewing my book?

First of all, I gave him a draft copy to read and comment on, before publication. I did this because at that time he was in the same situation I had been in, looking for a soulmate in vain and doubting his own ability to attract women. So I thought he would be an ideal person to test my book on. Why not pass on to a friend what had worked so well for me?

Some months passed, and as yet he hasn’t told me the full story of what happened. But suffice it to say, a short while ago I saw him with a very attractive woman, and the other day I saw them still together and she could hardly keep her hands off him. He also had a very big smile.

So I asked him, no pressure, but if you would please post an honest review of my book on Amazon.com I should be grateful. I emailed him, ‘If you are happy to do this it should be an honest review. Some new authors get their chums to write 5-star reviews but I suspect that if all the early reviews are 5-star people don’t believe them.’

Well, he gave the book 5 stars anyway.

So, why am I telling you not to buy my book? Because I am working on the Kindle edition and I am going to publish the Kindle edition free for a limited period, as Amazon allows. This is because I want the book to get known and I’m hoping for as many honest reviews as possible. So I don’t want any loyal followers of this blog to buy the paperback and then feel cross because they spent £5.50 (US$9.50) when they didn’t have to.

If you want to know about it as soon as the free promotion starts, all you have to do is follow this blog. The ‘follow’ button is at the top right of the page (or just below the posts if you are reading this on a mobile).

But if you can’t wait, £5.50 (US$9.50) is hardly going to blow a huge hole in your finances, is it?

This blog

As I explain in the About section of this blog, I want to pass on some tips in the areas of dating and sex which I wished I’d known about long ago. Having learned these things my life is altogether different and happier. What better time to pass on what I have learned than when the steps I took are fresh in my mind?

I am working on a book which will be called:

Dating – the missing manual

– you can attract and keep the woman of your dreams –

(if they had taught this in school alongside algebra and French irregular verbs, my whole life would have been different)

I love long old-fashioned titles as you can see. This book will be ready for the printer soon.

Meanwhile my intention is to post at the beginning of the week, usually on a Monday, a thought or tip about dating.

In the middle of the week, usually on a Thursday, I shall post a thought or tip about sex to go with my other book,

Last as long as you want in bed

– five steps to overcoming premature ejaculation and to regaining control –

“It’s not about you”

This book is already available in paperback (US link, UK link). I’m also working on a Kindle version.

To find out when my dating book is published why not click the ‘follow’ button on this blog? You will also receive email updates when there is a new post. WordPress does not forward your email address to me and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Do you want to achieve your desires?

Unless you are a monk I recommend making the effort to achieve your desires.

The main and consistent focus of my life is looking for and finding ways of living in the present moment as much as possible. Along the way I came up against a number of very strong obsessions that were not connected with this effort, and that were occupying most of my waking thoughts. These were (1) the need for love and a life partner and (2) sex.

If you believe yourself to be on some kind of spiritual path, it is easy to convince yourself that you are working with transforming a lack – but this may be the coward’s way out.

Ask yourself whether the truth is that you have not yet found the courage to tackle these problems. Ask yourself whether you believe achieving what you want is too difficult, therefore you never start. Ask yourself whether the effort to achieve what you want might not be more challenging, more liberating than trying to live with frustration.

At some point I realised that, as Mr Gurdjieff put it, a roast chicken was not going to fly into my mouth. Just as anything I have ever achieved required effort, this was going to be no different. Then a friend pointed me towards some good advice, and another passed on his own techniques in the field of dating. I soaked up many ideas, some good, some that didn’t suit me, and I started applying the ones I thought were good. It was a steep learning curve, but I got there. Luckily for me, when I had it pretty well sorted, I met the love of my life.

One thing you learn along the way is that you are not who you think you are. This in itself is worth the price of the journey.

Later on I understood how to overcome unsatisfactory sexual performance too, and I have already provided some pointers to this in previous blog entries. Remarkably, the answer to this is being in the moment – and so we arrive back where we started.

Frequently I meet others who so obviously need to know what I have learned. What better time to write down what I know when the steps are still fresh in my mind? Hence two books: one on dating which I intend to publish soon, and one on sex which is already available.

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To be first to know when my book on dating is published, please click on the ‘follow’ button top right on this page.

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Please check out my free book offer. This is for the book on sex. I am hoping for a few honest reviews on Amazon, although if you accept the free offer you are under no obligation to write a review. Alternatively you can download the section on female sexual anatomy called ‘10 hot tips for lasting longer in bed and giving your woman more pleasure‘ (US link) for a mere 99¢ (about 75p – UK link here).

Amazon thinks I’m gay

You know how Amazon keeps a lot of information about you? It keeps track of what you look at in order to put more stuff in front of your eyes that you might buy.

Looking on Amazon for a workbench (specifically the Triton SuperJaws) I found an advertisement underneath for My Regelence Rake, a novel whose cover sports two well-built men, one naked to the waist.

My wife asked me to click on the link in view of the aesthetic appeal of the man. Quite honestly he did nothing for me at all, but to please her I did. Behold, it is a Mills and Boon style novel about gay guys. Leaving aside the vexed question of what a Regelence is (did the author mean Regency?), I am left wondering why Amazon thinks I’m gay.

Does looking at a heavy-duty piece of woodworking equipment mean I’m very butch indeed?

Actually I have an alternative hypothesis. I downloaded my friend Harvey Helms’s autobiography, Blush: the unbelievably absurd diary of a gay beauty junkie, for my Kindle (US link here). It’s very funny indeed. I didn’t turn gay reading it, though, so you can buy it safely whatever your sexual orientation.

This has nothing really to do with this blog, except that Harvey’s book does teach us one very important thing, that not only can it be an heroic struggle to be who you truly are, it can also be done with humour and consideration for others, even under the most trying circumstances.

Foreplay

Did you ever hear of a woman who didn’t like foreplay? I haven’t.

Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay.

If you have a tendency to come too soon, then try bringing her to orgasm before you even go in.

For example, let your fingers do the work. Or even better, give her oral sex. Use your tongue around her labia (‘pussy lips’) and clitoris, and keep doing whatever she likes best. She’ll probably respond most to your stimulating her clitoris, but change what you do from time to time to keep the anticipation going.

You will find a clear diagram of the female genital area, and what is most sensitive, in my ebook (UK link – for other links see the side panel or type ’10 hot tips’ into Amazon).

10 hot tips for lasting longer in bed

10 hot tips for lasting longer in bed will be available very soon for the Amazon Kindle and compatible e-readers.

This illustrated e-booklet explains where a woman’s most sensitive sexual areas are and how you can use this knowledge to make her come before you do. (22 pages, 7 diagrams.)

Most of the material in this e-booklet is extracted from my book Last as long as you want in bed. I wanted to make 10 hot tips free for the Kindle, but it seems there is no easy way of doing that, so it will be priced at 99¢ and whatever the equivalent is in the UK (about 75p right now).

If you prefer you can download the booklet completely free as a pdf now.