Don’t buy my book!

I’m very excited now because my book “Dating – the missing manual – you can attract and keep the woman of your dreams (if they had taught this in school alongside algebra and French irregular verbs, my whole life would have been different)” now has the Look Inside feature working!

Link to Amazon.com for Dating – the missing manual

Link to Amazon.co.uk for Dating – the missing manual

I am also excited because I have the first review of my dating book on Amazon.com.

I’m going to come completely clean here. The reviewer is a friend. But before you discount his opinion, I have a few things to say.

You all know that many writers get their friends to write 5-star reviews of their books. Probably some authors even review their own books under false names. That’s why many people, myself included, often prefer to read the 3-star reviews to get the real low-down. I know this and you know this, and that’s why I want all the reviews of my books to be genuine. (You will note that so far I have not got any reviews for my other book, despite my giving away free copies no strings attached – the offer still stands, by the way.) So what’s all this about my friend reviewing my book?

First of all, I gave him a draft copy to read and comment on, before publication. I did this because at that time he was in the same situation I had been in, looking for a soulmate in vain and doubting his own ability to attract women. So I thought he would be an ideal person to test my book on. Why not pass on to a friend what had worked so well for me?

Some months passed, and as yet he hasn’t told me the full story of what happened. But suffice it to say, a short while ago I saw him with a very attractive woman, and the other day I saw them still together and she could hardly keep her hands off him. He also had a very big smile.

So I asked him, no pressure, but if you would please post an honest review of my book on Amazon.com I should be grateful. I emailed him, ‘If you are happy to do this it should be an honest review. Some new authors get their chums to write 5-star reviews but I suspect that if all the early reviews are 5-star people don’t believe them.’

Well, he gave the book 5 stars anyway.

So, why am I telling you not to buy my book? Because I am working on the Kindle edition and I am going to publish the Kindle edition free for a limited period, as Amazon allows. This is because I want the book to get known and I’m hoping for as many honest reviews as possible. So I don’t want any loyal followers of this blog to buy the paperback and then feel cross because they spent £5.50 (US$9.50) when they didn’t have to.

If you want to know about it as soon as the free promotion starts, all you have to do is follow this blog. The ‘follow’ button is at the top right of the page (or just below the posts if you are reading this on a mobile).

But if you can’t wait, £5.50 (US$9.50) is hardly going to blow a huge hole in your finances, is it?

Why I decided not to take the advice of internet marketing gurus

There are said to be ways of making piles of money publishing information products.

There are ways of getting people to part with large sums of cash for information which if published in the normal way would be a book with a cover price less than £20 or $30.

There are certainly a lot of marketing gurus out there marketing information products about marketing information products, and I suppose at least some of them are making a lot of money.

To make a lot of money marketing an information product, this is what you are supposed to do. You create an internet ‘squeeze page’ with a lot of very long copy that tells you what the product is going to do for you. So for example a squeeze page about dating should have long copy explaining how you can learn to overcome your fear of talking to attractive women, how you will learn to become attractive to women by developing confidence and so on. There may or may not be photographs of scantily-clad temptresses interspersed with testimonials from fellows who got lucky.

The further down the page you read, the more you are imagining overcoming all your fears and being able to get hot dates, in short, becoming a man with choices.

Then the marketer will tell you what they think the product is worth. The principle behind this is trying to get the potential customer into the frame of mind that thinks, “what would I be willing to pay to get this area of my life sorted out?” The marketer wants you to think, “Yes, if I was certain of becoming a babe magnet I’d happily pay $2,000.”

Then the marketer tells you that as it happens there is a special limited time offer so that this information product is marked down to only $300 (or $291, because a number without zeros looks less as though it’s been plucked out of thin air), but only if you buy now. What’s more you can stage your payments into three easy instalments. Not only that but if not truly delighted you can return the materials for a full refund, no questions asked. And you get bonus items just for replying which are yours to keep whether you return the materials or not.

At this point your head is in a whirl, you’re looking at the instalment payment of $100 (or more likely, $97.00 because there is some weird alchemy in the number 97) and you’re thinking, “hey, that’s not much money,” (unless of course you don’t live in the USA and $97.00 is more money than you’ve ever seen in one place at one time) and you click the pay link.

Now, while I should like to be rich, the truth is that doing all this would require a considerable investment of time and energy. I think the people who do this and succeed actually put a lot of effort into it. The time I would spend doing this would be better spent writing more books.

The marketing model I am adopting is pile ’em high, sell ’em cheap. Even so, I believe that the insights that I have packed into ‘Dating – the missing manual’ are as good as you’ll get anywhere, basically because they work.

In order to get a high sales ranking on Amazon I am deliberately pitching the price for the paperback book below its main book rivals. I shall keep the price low at least until sales volumes suggest I should increase it. (There’s my limited time offer right there – to quote Bugs Bunny, “Ain’t I a devil?”) The booksellers’ discount is sufficiently generous for regular bookstores to get it for you, too.

The price at publication will be a mere £5.50 (US$9.50) – that’s less than the price of a coffee and a decent sandwich to learn how to attract and keep the woman of your dreams.

Falling in love

Here is what Plato wrote:

This then is the fourth type of madness, which befalls when a man, reminded by the sight of beauty on earth of the true beauty, grows his wings and endeavours to fly upwards, but in vain, exposing himself to the reproach of insanity because like a bird he fixes his gaze on the heights… – Phaedrus 249

And here is an extract from my soon-to-be published Dating – the missing manual, from the section towards the end called, ‘Is true love possible?’:

Love at first sight.

Yes, it can happen.

In rare cases it really works out. Lovers sometimes feel that they must have met in a previous life. Whether they really did or not neither they nor anyone else can tell, but sometimes it works out.

But it isn’t the only way and these feelings are not always reliable. I’m not saying they’re never true, but us humans are also very good at fooling ourselves.

It is quite possible to fall in love because of our own unmet need for warmth and affection. No doubt the desire for sex plays a big part in this too. For some, the sex part looms largest, for others sex follows on from love. Either way, a starving man will accept any food.

We must beware our own unmet needs.

Serious mistakes can be made, such as unwanted sticky relationships. Obvious perhaps, but such mistakes are common. Be skeptical of your own falling in love, be cautious, don’t commit too soon.

I have heard it said that falling in love lasts for twelve weeks, or in rare cases if you are exceptionally lucky, thirteen. (I don’t think this is absolutely accurate, but you get the point.)

Sure, it is fine indeed to see everything bathed in unusual light, to know that the world is a dream, to feel the strangeness and the ache of being in love. Trying to avoid this state is either going to fail or turn you into a grey zombie. You can’t and shouldn’t fight it.

But don’t promise anything you may not be able to deliver. You don’t need to make promises to keep a woman. You just need to be yourself, and if she’s right for you, it will work out.

Relationships that are good for the long haul will evolve over time. Falling in love is the match that lights the candle. The candle may or may not be lit by the time the match goes out.

For others, it is a slow burn process – they meet, they kind of like each other but aren’t sure, they hang around each other some more, and gradually like a smoky bonfire of damp wood, steam comes and then the fire.

Dating – the missing manual – you can attract and keep the woman of your dreams (if they had taught this in school alongside algebra and French irregular verbs, my whole life would have been different) is theoretically now available from all good bookstores. In practice it won’t be on their computers yet, but in the very near future it will be available to bookshops from their usual wholesalers: Bertrams, Ingram, Barnes and Noble, Gardners, Blackwell etc. I shall post on here as soon as it is available on Amazon, anticipated in about the next two weeks.

Stop press: it looks as though Dating – the missing manual will be available from Amazon from 1st October.

Free book! Time limited offer.

If you are reading this you may be interested in my book, ‘Last as long as you want in bed – 5 steps to overcoming premature ejaculation and to regaining control.’ Now is your chance to get a free copy.

(If you are a woman, you could get it for your man. Just tell him he’s a great lover anyway but you heard there are some very useful diagrams on pages 37-48 showing where a woman’s most sensitive areas are, which will help him be an even better stud than he already is.)

Why am I doing this? Simple: I want honest – not made-up by my chums – reviews for this book on Amazon.

All you have to do is click this email link and send me your postal mailing address and I’ll send you a copy of the book, wherever in the world you are. That’s all. Once I’ve done that I’ll delete your mailing address and your email address from my records.

Whether you write a review or not is up to you. But if you do, make it an honest one. I wrote this book because I know this method works – it worked for me – so I’m confident you’ll like it.

The Amazon link is here: Last as long as you want in bed.

I shall not be repeating this offer, so please act now. When the free books are gone, they’re gone.

Whether you ask for your free book or not, you can follow my dating and sex tips on this bog free by clicking the follow button (top right of this page).

Best regards,

Dr Cornelius Agrippa

P.S: if you already have a copy of the book, please consider writing a review on Amazon using the link above.

Amazon thinks I’m gay

You know how Amazon keeps a lot of information about you? It keeps track of what you look at in order to put more stuff in front of your eyes that you might buy.

Looking on Amazon for a workbench (specifically the Triton SuperJaws) I found an advertisement underneath for My Regelence Rake, a novel whose cover sports two well-built men, one naked to the waist.

My wife asked me to click on the link in view of the aesthetic appeal of the man. Quite honestly he did nothing for me at all, but to please her I did. Behold, it is a Mills and Boon style novel about gay guys. Leaving aside the vexed question of what a Regelence is (did the author mean Regency?), I am left wondering why Amazon thinks I’m gay.

Does looking at a heavy-duty piece of woodworking equipment mean I’m very butch indeed?

Actually I have an alternative hypothesis. I downloaded my friend Harvey Helms’s autobiography, Blush: the unbelievably absurd diary of a gay beauty junkie, for my Kindle (US link here). It’s very funny indeed. I didn’t turn gay reading it, though, so you can buy it safely whatever your sexual orientation.

This has nothing really to do with this blog, except that Harvey’s book does teach us one very important thing, that not only can it be an heroic struggle to be who you truly are, it can also be done with humour and consideration for others, even under the most trying circumstances.

Overcome premature ejaculation

My ebook, 10 hot tips for lasting longer in bed and giving your woman more pleasure – practical sexual anatomy for men who love women (snappy title I know), is available for a limited time free to subscribers to Amazon Prime, through the Kindle Owners’ Lending Library. For this reason I have had to remove the free pdf link from this page.

If you aren’t a member of Amazon Prime you can still buy 10 hot tips for a mere 99¢. Go to the Amazon Kindle store and type in ’10 hot tips’ into the search box, or click here (US link) or here (UK link).

If you are an iPad or iPhone user you should know that all Kindle books are readable on those devices. The Kindle app for iPad and iPhone is free at the time of writing and it is downloadable from http://amzn.to/9CfhDH or search for Kindle in the App Store.

Free Kindle reading apps are also available for Android phone or tablet, PC, Mac, BlackBerry, or Windows phone 7 from the same source.

99¢ to make your woman happy

Here it is: the link to the Kindle edition of 10 hot tips for lasting longer in bed and giving your woman more pleasure – practical sexual anatomy for men who love women (UK link). (US link here.)

For a mere 99¢ (about 75p depending on the state of the UK economy) men can finally understand why women aren’t always pleased by fast and deep.

(Note: for some reason Amazon.com have this at $1.19 “including VAT.” I don’t know if this is some weird glitch that results from viewing Amazon.com from the UK. I was not aware that the USA had the VAT tax nor that it was at the UK rate of 20%. Maybe someone will let me know. Anyway I downloaded it to check that everything works as it should and it cost me 77p in the UK.)

10 hot tips for lasting longer in bed

10 hot tips for lasting longer in bed will be available very soon for the Amazon Kindle and compatible e-readers.

This illustrated e-booklet explains where a woman’s most sensitive sexual areas are and how you can use this knowledge to make her come before you do. (22 pages, 7 diagrams.)

Most of the material in this e-booklet is extracted from my book Last as long as you want in bed. I wanted to make 10 hot tips free for the Kindle, but it seems there is no easy way of doing that, so it will be priced at 99¢ and whatever the equivalent is in the UK (about 75p right now).

If you prefer you can download the booklet completely free as a pdf now.

Life changing information for the price of a large takeaway pizza!

The UK edition of Last as long as you want in bed – five steps to overcoming premature ejaculation is now available from Amazon at the correct price of £9.97.

Following my plea to Amazon to be allowed to communicate with a human, I received a reply that indicated that a little more attention had been given to it. It was essentially the same misunderstanding re-worded, so I still couldn’t give it a smily face.

I responded with line-by-line comments.

Following this my chum at Amazon who shall remain nameless to spare her blushes finally understood and told me I had to notify the correct price to Nielsen (who control ISBNs in the UK). I did this but meanwhile she surged ahead and checked the price with the printer, then changed it on Amazon.co.uk. It’s as though something had stirred her into passionate action.

Maybe she wanted her boyfriend to buy the book – who knows?

Anyway I’m grateful.

Meanwhile I am working on an extended version of my free ebook,

10 hot tips for lasting longer during sex and giving your woman more pleasure – practical sexual anatomy for men who love women. Not a catchy title but it says what it needs to say. More on this soon.

The Amazon saga continues

The robots have taken over!

This time I tried sending the request about correcting the book price to the email address I had been given by customer support, and received the identical reply.

My next step is the following email:

I have tried via two different methods to contact you and received the identical automatically generated reply both times, which I’m afraid doesn’t begin to address the question, which is actually quite straightforward. I don’t want to repeat the question in this email in case I get the same reply a third time. Please let me know how I can get my query to a real human who will read it and respond.

Thank you for your attention to this.

Regards,